rebeccachia.

2008-04-08T00:08:00.002+08:00

I LOVE MY EXCO! =D

2008-04-04T22:01:00.001+08:00

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

2008-03-29T22:45:00.007+08:00

EDITED! Added two more photos =D

Just came back from SLO Camp! I didn't have quite a good feeling about it cause all of us really had an uber exhausting week already, and on friday they wouldn't let us off. Instead we had to attend some camp. Zzzzzzzz..

But who would have known?

It was pretty fun! Very interactive activities, fun trainers and of course the retarded bunch of us!

Kudos to SPIDERMAN (Hahaha Vera came up with that name!) Cheers to Qahhar, Shu Hui, Vera, Yuen Yin, Jian Hong and Jonathan!

And to those who couldn't make it, you really missed alot! =P

Watched "Leap Years" on Monday with Andre, Ah Chai! (Oie I want my plate of Char Kwey Teow! Hahaha) Brandon, Morena, Samantha and Irah after Econs Post-Mortem. Thought it was pretty sweet, and kinda funny cause of all the silly comments we were making about certain things they were doing. In another theatre the rest of the class watched "Horton". I was kinda upset cause I couldn't spend anymore time after the movie for lunch because I had a meeting in school.

I can't really remember what happened on Tuesday, and probably that's because it was damn monotonous. Hahaha.

I guess Wednesday can be termed as my best, or worst day of the week. I reached some kind of relavation, and found some kinda inner perspective. Well my eyes were damnnnn sore even on Thursday that I couldn't even wear my contact lens. Buang. But nonetheless, it wasn't anything I would regret. Thank yous, Jiayi, Quekquek, Joanna, Joel, Ah Ma, Shu Hui, Sherman, Sandeep, Qian Wen, Miao Ying, Cindy and all the others part of the circle =D

Thursday! Woahhh I went with Shu Hui, Hao Yan, Sherman, Bora and Rach to.. *undisclosed location* Gotta say it was pretty nice to revisit the place because I haven't visited the area since.. Sec 3? Good experience, I should say. I can't wait till the actual event =D Settled dinner at Bedok Interchange's hawker centre, and I gotta say it's been a long time since I've actually stepped into a hawker centre. I was reeking of oil when I left, but I loved how heartlander it felt.

Man I really need to get out of the house more often and raid the Pasar Malams nearby for junk food and little knick-knacks, to pull myself back into some form of reality in this reality we live in.

Alright I gotta catch some sleep. I think my eye bags are as huge as my eyes already. Gees.

But I’m on my way, I’m on my way
There seems to be no end in sight
But I know I’ll be alright
‘Cos I’m on my way, I’m on my way
Sweet embrace, I’m on my way

2008-03-21T23:34:00.004+08:00

Happy Good Friday!

Went out with Rachel today to.. CITY HALL. Omg I don't know how many times we've been there. Bought this pair of really cute shirts at Marina. Mine says "<----- She's the evil twin" and Rach's one says "I'm the evil twin" We're totally wearing that shirt out the next time round!

We also heeded Mr Low's advice and watched "Horton"! Gotta say, it's a REALLY GOOD movie, despite the fact that I'm not a fan of animated films. Very very very insightful, and pretty satirical towards how we think actually. Well at least it got me laughing at our stupidity.

"But the world itself is only a speck of dust. And man is tiny - helpless!" - Nineteen Eighty Four, George Orwell

It was my MSN nick the day before the Lit Paper because I was feeling pretty pessimistic about it. I had no idea it would have so much reference to the movie I watched today! Lol.

Well the Block Tests was... hahahahahaha. Good luck to me and my own folly.

2008-03-14T22:10:00.002+08:00

My brother's featured in the latest issue of NTU's The Nanyang Chronicles! Guess which one? HAHAHAHA.

Oh man he's gonna kill me if he finds out.

2008-03-13T20:11:00.004+08:00

Council Recruitment Meeting 1!

I remember the time I thought the first meeting was like, wayyyyyy too much information. In the midst of all the tests you find yourself having more deadlines to meet up to, and a whole lot more work to do. And you ask yourself.. what the hell have you got yourself into?

Funny how it has just come and gone so quickly, and now it's our turn to being the shoes of our mentors, and having mentees under our wings.

So here's my shoutouts to BIN LI! CHEN PENG! KAMAL! and CHEE KIAN! Jiayous! =)

F.O.C.U.S.

2008-03-11T23:09:00.002+08:00

Studying at Tampines Library.

What's scary is that everyone's doing the same. In one stretch of tables, there were 7 Meridians on them, and one really old guy enjoying some Chinese novel.

Miss Lai should feel proud.

2008-03-10T21:37:00.004+08:00

The start of the Block Tests!

General Paper. Heh heh heh! Well at least it's a paper you don't really need to study for. I was like, 3 minutes early to the start of the paper. I was stupid enough to think that everyone would come on the dot, but surprise surprise. Maybe they thought there was morning assembly.. hahaha.

I was banging for a good environmental question but I didn't have the 'magic' connection with the question number 9 aka the sudden surge of ideas of what my "OVs and SVs" should be, so I ended up doing question 4, asking me to discuss how effective the government was in eliminating poverty.

Honestly, I think I completely blew that paper. Definitely not a decent pass grade, unless my shit essay turned into gold somewhere along the line.

Well at least Paper 2 wasn't that bad. I totally smiled at the question paper when I read "Utopia". At least it wasn't some junkie passage yabbering about topics which I find no interest, and therefore no understanding in. I think for the first time in the looooooooongest time I didn't need to guess the meaning of the words in the vocabulary section.

I hope that can help pull up my grades *Crosses fingers* Please please please.

Back to studying.

And if you need to relax, you should start watching Veronica Mars.

For every little thing you hold on to, you have to let something else go..

2008-03-08T15:12:00.004+08:00

Well I'm at the Tampines Library now in my desperate attempt to try to catch up before the upcoming Block Tests. Guess bringing the computer along to do E-learning does has its drawbacks.. BLOGGING. Hahahaha.

Seriously I feel damnnn lost, because I don't really know what's happening. Especially for Math and Lit, when there isn't any E-learning to do =/ At the very least Economics and Geography does makes some sense by reading, or listening to Mr Hon talk about the Policies to tackle Slow Economic Growth =P

REBECCACHIA,STUDY! ---> Hahaha that's Rachel.

Okayyy then. She's poking me. Very hard. Okay it's getting ticklish. BYEEEEE.

2008-03-03T21:15:00.004+08:00

Yay my budget computer is coming tomorrow! =) And it's white.. I like.

Today was a day of highs and lows. I think playing Frisbee today (plus all the screaming that came along with it) really did the trick. I mean I came to school with the blackest face on the planet, but I left feeling throughly contented with out the day played out.

Gotta. Force. Myself. To. Study. For. Lit. And. Math.

Well, maybe I shouldn't question too much about my purpose in life just yet. Maybe I'll live out my short term goals, and then maybe I can continue pursuing whatever I came down to Earth for...

That's the plan, I hope it works out.

BLOCKTEST.BLOCKTEST.BLOCKTEST.BLOCKTEST.BLOCKTEST.BLOCKTEST = PUT IN YOUR BEST.

I owe myself that. Jiayous!

PS. Thanks Matthew for the talk last night (or early this morning hahaha).

2008-03-02T21:04:00.009+08:00

GOAL-LESS.

I've always been that person that has everything planned in my head. I know what I want, I know what I should do to get what I want.

Somehow I've lost it.

I've never felt so.. unmotivated, so distracted in my life. Like I have nothing to live for, and what I'm trying desperately to do is to live on a day-to-day basis. And to me, that's completely pointless. There's nothing to look forward towards.. how can anyone live like that?

And low and behold, it is moi that I'm talking about.

Truthfully, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. Too many sacrifices made, with returns I find little comfort in, as much as I try to convince myself otherwise. My schoolwork is down the drain, woohoo.

I've lost my faith in the future, and my ability to shape my own future. And until I can acquire it again, I'll just be another empty shell, plastering a smile on my face.

Well, goodnight.

Cause I don't care
If I ever talk to you again
This is not about emotion
I don't need a reason not to care
What you say or what happened in the end
This is my interpretation
And it don't make sense.

- My Interpretation, Mika.

2008-03-01T17:13:00.003+08:00

Nothing much to say, nothing much I can say.

PS. Rach you look CONSTIPATED!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

2008-02-24T23:30:00.006+08:00

I really need a new computer. My darn laptop has been with me for 3 bloody years and it's like a retired racing horse on the verge of death. You either give it a longevity pill or you spare it from the misery by slashing its major artery.

My mum is going on about how free radicals (Because I charge my phone overnight and my bed is right beside the powerpoint) is going to make my heart condition worse. WTF?! Mum, I don't have any patience to deal with your constant nagging right now. Please, just.. leave it.

And I seriously hate technology. It malfunctions when I need it the most.

Murphy's Law. ITS TRUE.

Orientation 2 tomorrow. To the House Capts, OHLs, OGLs and lastly my COUNCILLORS, jiayou and all the best! Let's rock the three days away!

Alright I'm going to leave all this anger and frustration behind. Tomorrow's a new day. Make it better.

PS, Thanks Linette =)

2008-02-23T20:33:00.010+08:00

Our way is clear as we march on

And see our flag on high

It's never furled throughout the world

For hope shall never die

We must unite for what is right

In friendship true and strong

Until the earth in it's rebirth

Shall sing our song

All those who loved the true and good

Whose promises were kept

With humble minds whose acts were kind

Whose honour never slept

Those were the free

And we must be

Prepared like them to live

To give to all

Both great and small

All we can give

- The World Song, World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts (WAGGGS)

Happy Thinking Day everyone =)

Congrats to Damai Guides for clinching the Puan Noor Aishah GOLD Award for the 7th time running! Cheers to Sock Min too for clinching 3rd in the Annual Poster competition!

It really feels good to be back in Guiding. I've really missed it.

Another shot during the week:

Hahaha I was chiong-ing my Geog tutorial when Liz took that shot. Anyways Soiree was great! Liz and I ended up wearing similar striped tops but of a different colour. We swear, it was pure coincidence =P Hung out with part of A302 after the event at Macs and we talked about.. literally everything. Hahaha.

To Yihao and Sherman, jiayous for RBC =D

Outta my head, outta my life.

2008-02-20T21:05:00.003+08:00

Admin Day 1!

I think it was quite a successful day, despite the hiccups here and there. Admin was kinda screwed, but it's okay! We've made all the ammendments, and I believe we're prepared for Day 2 tomorrow hahaha. Joanna Kam and Kelly Zhu! JIAYOUS! =D

Okay I'm aiming to clock in at least 5 and a half hours of sleep everyday, so gotta learn to be more time efficient.

Just had our WGM today and I think we're all gonna screw our Block Tests upside down. There are so many events happening concurrently, I don't know HOW we're gonna obtain a decent grade..

Nevermind. Work hard now.

REBECCA! (Hahaha you know who!) Rebeccas ROCK =P

2008-02-18T20:48:00.007+08:00

Hey Councillors,

Remember this track?

Here I am,
This is me.
I come this world so wild and free.
Here I am,
So young and strong
Right in the place where I belong.

It's a new world,
It's a new start.
It's alive with the beating young hearts.
It's a new day,
In a new land,
And it's waiting for me..

Here I am.

Oh, it's a new world,
It's a new start,
It's alive with the beating of young hearts.
Yeah it's a new day,
In a new land,
and it's waiting for me..

Here I am =)

- Here I Am, Bryan White (Spirit - Stallion of the Cimarron rendition)

I downloaded (cough!) this song out of the blue yesterday. I didn't know what made me do it, but it did. And listening to this on repeat last night, and I must admit, I did get very emotional. There was just this flashes of memories as the song played on, and I saw the good times we used to have. The days we stayed back late into the night, the jokes we shared.. I remembered the councillors who came by to the hospital to visit me last year.

I remembered the family.

Perhaps we've all lost our way somewhere in the bitterness of the situation now - Too many deadlines to meet, expectations to achieve from not only ourselves, but our parents and our teachers. The weariness sinks in, and we've all begun to care about only ourselves and do things only to the best of our interests.

The flame flickers, it dims.

I have to admit that my fire has dimmed significantly. And I'm sorry to all the help which I have not rendered for the past few days. And honestly, I really don't know what I was doing with my life. I had nothing to look forward to, and no sense of direction. I feel so disappointed in myself, and I know I've let all of you down.

But I wanna keep this fire alive. It burns dimly, but I'm not going to let even the strongest gust of wind blow it out. We can do this. We can get through this. If we believe in each other, if we believe in this family, this strong and unbreakable bond that we have.. the impossible is nothing.

Maybe I've not said it enough, but I really do love every single one of you. I've learnt to love you, for you. I appreciate the fact that I get to see everyone of you for morning assembly every morning, and the work gets so much easier when I know there are others in this with me. And all that we've done so far, aren't you proud of it? I know I am. There's so much that I've learnt in this short 10 months together, and there's no where else I'd rather be, than here with all of you.

I'm in this. Will you take my hand, and say that you're with me too?

Love,
Rebecca.

To my little brother Leonard, stay strong =) (Yes I know you read my blog) Don't let Mummy and Daddy get to you with whatever happened in school. Take it as a lesson learnt, and move on. Even though I hardly show it, but I really do love you. Take care dear.

2008-02-17T15:03:00.005+08:00

Got called back to school to do filming for Orientation 2. Hahaha. I really enjoyed the process of filming. It was crazy hilarious! =) Joel did like, 7 takes on the same scene. And the few of us which were watching were like.. laughing our asses off. Okay I had my share of NGs.. I completed zoned out when it was my cue to say something, and Sandeep had to kick my feet before I remembered.. but then I just burst out in laughter =P

It was already evening when we left school, so Bora, Solomon, Sandeep and I went to White Sands for dinner before Bora, Solomon and I headed to City Hall to meet the rest of the councillors to collect bottles during the Chingay Parade.

Solomon went to meet Brian, and so it was down to 2 of us. Marcus caught up with us at The Oriental. It was real amusing to see this really tall and lanky guy standing out from the crowd! I started jumping when I saw him from really far away..hahahaha.

So we were furious stepping on bottles until about 11.15pm, and we went back to meet up with Shu Hui, Joel, Charlene, Sherman and Hao Yan to deposit whatever we've collected. Bora and I left soon after and headed for home.

My god, I never wanna stick my hand into a rubbish bin again. I'm glad it's not something I need to do for a living.

Rachel! Cheer up girl =)

But I won’t let melancholy
Play me for a fool
Oh, no I’m on my way somewhere new

And as far as your lack of something to say
Well, to tell me goodbye there was no better way

- Kindly Unspoken, Kate Voegele

2008-02-15T20:00:00.005+08:00

Today started out on the wrong foot. I'm in a terrible mood today.. So little patience with anything and everything. I came to school feeling like crap, and whatever happened did nothing but to aggravate it.

Many thanks to all the councillors for helping out =) And I apologise if I sounded frustrated or demanding to any of you.

I went back to Damai today. It's good to see old faces, and remember all the little things that brought joy, like singing TAPS, the sacred 'circle' we always emphasized and of course, the bright blue uniform. I was also reminded of the super awesome breeze that blew from the reservoir when I was at the bus stop waiting to take my short bus ride back home. I guess being caught up with everything that has been happening has made me forget so many things.

To be gracious.
To be thankful.

I want to serve again, and I can't wait to renew my Promise =)

When the calls and conversations
Accidents and accusations
Messages and misperceptions
Paralyze my mind

Buses, cars and airplanes leaving
Burning fumes of gasoline
And everyone is running
And I come to find a refuge in the

Easy silence that you make for me
It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay

- Easy Silence, Dixie Chicks

2008-02-14T23:10:00.001+08:00

2008-02-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

I'd rather walk away.

There's a whirlwind of thoughts in my head that cannot be put on paper.

2008-02-08T16:07:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year! =) New beginnings, though I don't really like the idea it's the year of the Rat. Speaking of which, I think Channel 8 had this celebration with all the dancing and singing, and all of a sudden Mickey and Minnie Mouse came up giving Ang Baos. That was.. really hilarious. Hahaha. What's the link?

Man I did the "Lou Hei" like 3 times this year already. One during the reunion dinner at Ang Mo Kio, one at my grandma's place yesterday and one today when my uncle came over..

I only like the crackers though. Hahaha.

Went to the airport yesterday after lunch at my grandma's place, and I guess everyone else had the same sentiments too. Swensens was.. PACKED. Hahaha. Took the skytrain over to Terminal 3 and I gotta say its absolutely GEORGEOUS! The extensive space and tall ceilings.. (Hey that sounds familiar xD)

The modernity of it lacked character I suppose. I couldn't really relate the building to something "uniquely Singapore". But well, it's a nice place.

Alright I'm really enjoying the whole idea of just messing around at home doing absolutely nothing =) I just watched "Atonement", and I have to say that is bloody awesome. Joe Wright is a brilliant director. Seriously =DDDD

I don't know what I've done.

Or if I like what I begun.

But something told me to run.

Honey you know me it's all or none.

-Where I Stood, Missy Higgins

2008-02-06T21:56:00.000+08:00

CNY = Holiday = MORE SLEEEEEEP!

Finally. Some well deserved rest. It's been quite a shitty 2 weeks, and the lack of sleep has been making me so lathargic that I've been snoozing off in some of my classes.

Had 3 tests yesterday that I'm not gonna anticipate doing well for. If I fail, and fail very badly, I completely deserve it.

But well, something made my day on Monday night, so it pretty much makes up for all the crap I'm gonna get from the teachers next week =D

Made a mad dash to Tampines Mall today after the celebrations to get all my new clothes in time for CNY. I haven't done ANY shopping since the school year started, and boy does it feel good to carry shopping bags in your hands =)

I'm gonna make use of the holidays to spend more time with my folks. I've been neglecting them for a while now.

Gong Hei Fatt Choy! =)

2008-02-03T23:10:00.000+08:00

Oh yeah we're done with OGL Camp 2! =DDDDD

I'm really glad I was able to be part of the action this time round since I couldn't the previous time. Had an OG attached to me - ATLAS 4! I must have some affinity with that OG. I was from Atlas 4 during Orientation 1 2007, was an OGL in charge of Atlas 4 in Orientation 2 2007 and now I'm caring for the OGLs in Atlas 4 for O2 2008! Wahahahahaha. Two of my OGLs got selected to be OHLs, and I gotta say a big congrats to MAK! Good luck dude =) I didn't really get to spend alot of time with them though. I wonder if I'll have time for them during Orientation 2.....

Admin was reasonably smooth sailing throughout the entire two days. Joanna, Kelly and I saikang-ed all the way man. Throwing garbage bags, carrying food.. Kinda makes me feel like I'm a Guide again. It's all about girl power =) (Even if the thing stinks like hell, hahaha)

During MMM on the second day I was attached to Orchard cause dearest Shu Hui and Ching Ying fell ill. Walked around ALOT cause the stations were pretty far apart from one another. I think all of them got a little closer to one another because of this. Tabitha, Clarissa and Stephanie were making weird cat and dog noises while we were on our way back to MJ when they were so quiet on our way to Orchard. Hahahaha.. Solid.

Well we're all moving on from this event to the next - Valentine's Day! I'm gonna do the Angel and Mortal briefing tomorrow. I hope all goes well for the publicity! =)

The next two days are gonna be hell. There's just alot to be done. I hope there's gonna be enough time for me to study enough to pass my tests. Pressure's on.

Silence speaks louder than words.

2008-02-03T09:23:00.000+08:00

2008-01-27T23:37:00.000+08:00

It's another day, another week.

I think I've lived the entire week without any purpose nor direction at all. I felt like a lost sheep the entire way. I was just trying to get through each day with minimal damage. Work is done, but there's no sense of satisfaction there.

I don't know how I'm feeling, or why I'm feeling like this. But it's been lingering around like a pest. Nothing good about it.

Too hard to please, aren't I?

Nonetheless this week has been quite eventful. A couple of things came to mind when I flipped through the pages of life in my head.

- Imagining I was Lizzie Bennet.
- Trying my hardest to stay awake during Math Lecture.
- Laughing at Mr Chris Chen when he got really pek chek trying to explain seasonal changes and how it affects the amount of insolation received.
- Speaking in front of the J1s with Hao Yan.
- Atlas winning Road Race.
- MMM Recce - Yi Fang, Bao Xian, Dale, Yuan Ling, Yue An, Jian Yong, Wei Sheng, Mansfield, Estee, Bryan, Song Yang, Faruq, Solo, Yi Ning and Joel! Yeah Clarke Quay! =)

I've left a certain stuffed animal at the corner of my table for a while now. That sure is symbolic.

2008-01-24T00:59:00.000+08:00

Things have changed, yet it remained the same.

I really really liked this poem which we discussed in Lit lecture today.

Absence
Elizabeth Jennings

I visited the place where we last met.
Nothing was changed, the gardens were well-tended,
The fountains sprayed their usual steady jet;
There was no sign that anything had ended
And nothing to instruct me to forget.

The thoughtlessness birds that shook out of the trees,
Signing an ecstasy I could not share,
Played cunning in my thoughts. Surely in these
Pleasures there could not be a pain to bear
Or any discord shake the level breeze.

It was because the place was just the same
That made your absence seem a savage force,
For under all the gentleness there came
An earthquake tremor: Fountain, birds and grass
Where shaken by my thinking of your name.

I'm not gonna admit defeat now. Jiayou jiayou jiayou!

2008-01-20T20:21:00.000+08:00

Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder,
Even I know that

You made room for me
But it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands

I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me

Music is an escape, a release.

I think I would die if I didn't bring my Pod everywhere I go.

MMM Recce yesterday was fun! Though I was limping around from that grotesque-looking blister infection on the sole of my left foot. Took ALOT of random photos, as usual. I think I'm gonna spend one full day to walk around Singapore during the weekends. I've only just realisd that there's actually alot to experience. Places to go.. People to see. I love to people-watch =)

Well I just finished most of my Admin stuff. Somebody's gotta do it right? And for the most part it isn't as enjoyable because it lacks the element of interaction with people.. but it's downright necessary and I'm cool with that.

Go Admin Comm! aka Joanna, Kelly and Me =P

Somebody please save me from the Lit Essay.. =(

2008-01-19T19:15:00.000+08:00

Peyton:
I dont know who i am anymore
Or how I got here.

I missed who I used to be
I wanna have a home again, you know?
I miss that.
I miss you.

I guess I miss all of it.
Does that make any sense?

Brooke:
Yeah it makes all the sense in the world Peyton.

Four years ago it seemed so clear isn't it?

Conquer the world, save the world
Live happily ever after.

Peyton:
Are you happy Brooke?

Brooke:
Sometimes.
Not always, are you?

Peyton:
No.

Brooke:
Okay then let me ask you something.

What is gonna make you happy Peyton?

Is it how you look?
Or the car you drive?
Or the people you know?

Is it money?
Or celebrity power or accomplishments
Because I have all those things..
And I don't think it's enough.

Peyton:
Then what is?

Brooke:
...Love I think.

And that love can be for a boy or for a girl.
Or from a place or a way of life.
Or even for a family.
But where you find it is up to you.
So where are you gonna find it Peyton?

Peyton:
I think I'm gonna go home.

-Season 5 Episode 1, One Tree Hill.

2008-01-18T19:11:00.000+08:00

The first two weeks turn into ten,
I hold my breath and wonder when it'll happen,
Does it really matter?
If half of what you said is true,
And half of what I didn't do could be different,
Would it make it better?
If we forget the things we know.
Would we have somewhere to go?
The only way is down, I can see that now.

Life's been.. busy. Both academics and council seem to be demanding alot more than we would have expected, and it's taking a toll on us. Everyone looked so tired today..

I think my time management skills are kicking in, cause I managed to sleep before 12am on most nights, and I even managed to sleep at 11pm yesterday! I'm feeling pretty good cause I've been doing alot of homework with whatever little time that I have instead of procastinating to do it later. Hope I'll keep up.

After getting to know our new teachers better, I think they're all really nice people.. right right right? =D

And I'm developing some kinda body rash. Gees.

2008-01-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

Day 2 of OGL Interview - I LIKE! =DDDD

Seems to me that the two cycles of OGLs which came to my room were pretty good. I got allocated to Miranda probably cause there weren't enough councillors from Miranda, but I don't think it matters =)

School ended at 2.35pm after 3 consecutive periods of Literature.. MADDDD. Thank goodness it wasn't any other subject. I was pretty much brain dead the whole day. I slept in the council room for one whole period before I woke up again to do my homework with Jiayi before the OGL interview started.

I feel like I'm getting my own self back - the on task, focused side of myself. And well, I don't know if that's what I really want.

2008-01-14T23:07:00.000+08:00

While I was walking home today I looked up at the night sky I saw a clear, white, crescent moon. And within that moment, it almost felt as if everything that was weighing me down was taken away from me..

Nature has its way on me.

And I had fun with Wan Yee and Vincent in the Miranda room today! =P

2008-01-13T12:52:00.000+08:00

There were sounds in my head,

Little voices whispering.

That I should go,

And this should end,

Oh and I found myself listening..

Spent yesterday at the library. While catching up on our schoolwork Rach and I wrote an A4 sized paper worth of lyrics.. to perhaps all the songs that's on our playlist right now. Hahaha. We manged to get our favourite 'fly kite' spot and saw a flock of white migratory birds playing in the puddles of water after the rain. Sweeeeet! =D

Well I'm feeling super sleepy but CSI Supreme Sunday is on AXN! By the way I caught the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy last night (POHYU GO AND WATCH!!!!) Derek and Meredith's relationship spins off into a new direction, and I'm not really liking it =/ No exciting surgeries though.. Awww man.

I've been reading Pride and Prejudice as well, and I'm appreciating the language alot more than when I was Secondary Four. I never finished reading that book, so I decided to start all over again. I have like, about 50 chapters left to go... man.

Are we really that busy?

2008-01-11T19:27:00.000+08:00

All my resistance will never be distant enough.

Friday friday friday! It's the weekends again =)

Well I have ALOT to catch up on, considering that I only attended three days of school this week. I guess we should have expected the teachers to be alot more stern this year. They ought to be. And while I was still in the Orientation/holiday mood on Monday, I'm totally back on track with school right now.

...

I've never really shown it but I'm worried about O2..

Orientation 2's quite a whirlwind with a brand new concept. I've always been rather resistant to change and have kept to safe and conventional methods which have to trialed and tested to be effective. But I'm convinced that this change is definitely for the better, and there are really good intentions here and super solid ideas in the making.

To Yi Hao, Sherman, Lizzie, Charlene and Joel (You know what you guys are planning) - JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU! =) Admin Comm supports you!

To the OGL Camp Comm (Quek, Rach and Bora) - HAHAHAHA GOOD LUCK!

And lastly to O2 Comm (Yun Zhi, Jiayi and JJ) - The Council's always behind you, you know it! =D

This is the life I've pledged to live, right until its end.

2008-01-10T12:18:00.000+08:00

If I had the capacity to care less, I would.

Life's been a whirlwind. Well, not really life, but school. It's sad how school is actually my life. I remember Matthew Ng pointing it out to me while we were chatting during the holidays. While there are certain parts of me that wished for more than living in this little shell of academics and council, I guess there's a time for everything. I will see more, learn more and more importantly feel more when the time comes..

And I really wished my health was better.

I spoke to my parents about my future a few nights ago. They explored a few courses I could take up.. Economics, Law, Social Sciences, Psychology (Sara maybe we'll end up in the same university studying the same thing!) I thought about going overseas as well, just to see life in a much bigger perspective. Well, guess I'll see how that turns out.

So many important decisions to make this year. And while 18 seemed so far away just a few months back, reality's starting to hit me real hard.

2008-01-05T11:45:00.000+08:00

Orientation was a blast! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Alright I wasn't really in the action because I was stuck at the GO doing Admin all day.. but I heard the freshmen and the OGLs screaming their lungs out even on the first day. Kudos for the House Comm and the OGLs for getting them so hyped up! =D

Gotta thank Joel, Nuzie, Yunzhi, Joel, Shu Hui, Jun Kai, Malina, Charlene, Fuzzy and most importantly JOANNNNNNNNNNAA for helping me out for Admin too! I would have never done it without all of you. There were only minor hiccups, and whew! Thank God.

Everyone has worked so hard! Wow, all the late nights and crazy laughing fits has flown by so quickly. From Icebreakers, TMP, MMM, WnW to the not-so recognised LAW and Admin! This Orientation has been quite a rough ride. So many last minute changes, all of us flipped out on that Saturday.

I bet the people working the hardest was Hao Yan and Joanna for the entire ride. Joanna lost her voice on the first day, she was whispering all the way. Hope you're okay now dear =)) There will be no doubt that everyone would say that Orientation 1 was a great success!

Well the joke of Orientation was on the 3rd Day, maybe cause I actually got to spend more time in the Council room =P We were ordering MacDonald's desserts after WnW. I passed my phone to Bora cause he wanted to talk to the person.

Mac: Alright let me repeat your order - One strawberry sundae, two chocolate sundaes, three mcflurrys. Is that all?

Cindy (Just got off the phone with Shoo): Bora! Me and Shu Hui want Curly Fries!

Bora: Yeah and two more curly fries. EXTRA CURLY PLEASE!

HAHAHAHA. Everyone inside laughed their heads off. Joel, Marcus, Yingqi, Mars, Rachel, Miao Ying, Cindy, Charlene, Bora and me. I bet the person on the other side of the phone thought we were crazy..

I wanna give a shoutout to ATLAS!! I wasn't around with the house for the most part, which really sucks sometimes. I only sneaked in during the couple dance and ended up dancing with Terence. Hahaha. I'm glad everyone had their share of fun.. We're 4th, and I'm sooo proud of it!

Yep I wanna say thanks to Yingqi and Shu Hui for taking care of me yesterday after campfire. To Shoo, thanks for running down to get your water bottle refilled and grabbing Quek and my things. To Quek, I wouldn't know what to do without you =) Thanks for checking my pulse regularly and sending me back home.

And to my dearest TAs.. Mr Tan, Miss Tan Wan Yee, Miss June Tan and my mentor Mr Hon. Thanks for checking up on me.. you're the closest teachers I have here in MJ.

You feel like, there are people who really really care about you in this world. Through thick and thin, sickness and health (haha it sounds like a marriage) Well, that's quite a statement from a cynic like me.

To Fuzzy, thanks for running this journey with us =) You'll always be part of council... always.

For all time, we believed.
Through the roughs and smooth we came strong.

*PS! Cindy wanna record Council Song? =P

So after this, I bet I'll have the post-Orientation blues for a while, cause it's back to the harsh reality of academics and the blasted A levels.

The trees grow so thick
You can barely see through
But the forest bestows the simplest of truths
You think you'll be happy if granted one more wish
But the truth is you'll never need more,
You'll never need more
You'll never need more than this

2008-01-01T11:57:00.000+08:00

PHOTO POST!

Happy New Year everyone! It's gone with the old, and in with the new. So I'm determined to stay healthy, happy and live life by my principles and my priorities.

Nothing can get in the way =)

ORIENTATION ORIENTATION ORIENTATION! JIAYOU COUNCIL! =)

2007-12-31T18:41:00.000+08:00

Last post before 2008 comes around! =) (Man this is gonna be one heck of a long post!)

Awwww man this year has passed by so quickly. I can't believe it's the last day of December already. And because I know that we judge time passing not by the hands on the clock but by the number of events that comes around, I must have done alot this year!

Well, compared to the last few years that is.

This year was probably the most dramatic of years. I've never liked all the drama and bitchfights from Secondary school, and I've always tried to stay out of it. And just when you thought the JC years would be a tad bit better, the real world comes around and bites you in the ass.

I guess the good thing that came out of it were the friends, and the family I've found this year =))) Well the first thing that came up with I thought about 2007 was C-O-U-N-C-I-L! From internship to R&E to CTC and to all the other events we've done. I can't help but smile when I think about all the stupid things we've done, the scandalous jokes (Those who are guilty you know who you are!!!!) and the kinship we've forged. 8 months later and I realised I know everyone a lot better than before.

These 32 people that I've found.. almost seem surreal. Like I've done something right in my life to have met with a miracle. I love you guys! =D Thanks for sticking through thick and thin, forcing me to sleep, and checking up on me to see if I've eaten =P I'm really touched. Really I am...

Council made me find two really special people as well. My self declared twin! LOI SHUYI! We're really alike in so many ways that I'm shocked myself. Hahaha. Thanks for calls, the sms-es and the heart to heart talks that we have online. I can't believe our archives are like, 7 pages long when I've only known you for less than a year. Well I think you're becoming even more random than me! I know you'll be there for me, cause I'm there for you too.. Hope this is a start of a beautiful friendship =)

To SHIQI, well there's really too much to say. I will never forget the memories we shared, and I hope you won't either. I know things have been a little rough (partly cause it's my fault) and we're leading separate lives.. but we'll get through this. You said so too yeah? And while you think you're replacable, you're not. I love you still =) See you on Wed darling.

Muahahahahaha my class!!!!! 07A302! We're a small class but that doesn't mean we're weak. I'm REALLY REALLY GLAD all of us made it to Year 2! I can't imagine going through 2008 without any of you. Everyone's special in their own way.. I really feel so blessed to know I attend the same classes as you do =) It's the As next year, hope we'll make it through as a class too.

Well looking back into my past.. =)

POHYU POHYU POHYU POHYU! Here's to 5 beautiful years of friendship, and many many many many years more. I'm supposed to be your maid of honour remember. Hahahahaha. I won't forget the fact that you're the first person to talk to me when I was 1 out of the 3 people from Saint Hilda's in Damai Secondary.. =) I'm so sorry I haven't seen you around much, I wished I had more time on my hands. Well since I'm meeting you in about one and a half hours time, I shall do all the talking later =)

MY SISTERS IN GUIDING! Yup that's all the people from my batch, Jing, Vivien, Pristine, Ferlicia, Linette, Wan Ying, Clarene, Lian Mei, Bharathi etc etc etc.. plus the seniors and juniors. I think the next time we'll see each other will be during the Thinking Day Celebrations on the 23rd of February. Now, I really hope I'll be able to make it this year, and maybe attend another camp and sleep at Camp Christine again! The sisterhood that we have runs deep. Hopefully I can drag a few of you to help at the HQ level after the A Levels! Heh heh heh. Watch out people. Lovvvveeeeeee =P

Cheers!

2007-12-27T22:44:00.001+08:00

I'm so touched.

Thank you Number 5s =))))

And this is all that's left.
Scraping paper to document.
I've packed a change of clothes,
And it's time to move on.

2007-12-25T18:34:00.000+08:00

Yes yes yes, it's Christmas again.

There's really something about the holidays that I realllllyyyy have a problem with.

Got some new stuff for the upcoming school year at Vivo on Christmas Eve. Saw a few familiar faces there as well. Grrr my elder brother splurged on a pair of shoes that he was gonna wear once =/

Met up with Jun Kai, Yi Hao and Rach for dinner on Christmas Eve. Saw Yi Hao's mummy too =) They look alike.

Watched "I Am Legend" after that. On our way to the cinema we saw a couple of the No 4s. Played a bit at the arcade before heading in. The movie had the potential to be good. It's too bad that it wasn't well developed enough. I was really anticipating a good show after I heard about it breaking box-office records... Well it really made me feel like I got cheated of my time. I nearly wanted to shout Merry Christmas in the cinema but Rach was probably tooo.. traumatized. I think we spent a quarter of the time hiding in my jacket. Sorry Rach! =P

Well I wanna give a big bear hug to Pohyu sooooooon. Miss you girl =D Maybe we can celebrate New Year's again! I hope =/

I like the idea of having friends you know you can count on. It makes me feel that the world isn't that lonely afterall. Well I'm feeling pretty blessed right now =D

2007-12-21T23:23:00.000+08:00

Today was quite a silly day =P

Went back to school to do the Admin Day placards. Thanks Hao Yan, Joel, Joanna, Yunzhi and Nuzie for coming down to school! Shu Hui's back from Thailand too =)

Then I hung out with Rachel at.. Oh my goodness. CITY HALL. Just when I swore I would never go there again. Ate a late lunch and roamed about the area aimlessly. Well we wasted 26 seconds of our lives seeing a fish swimming laps around the aquarium. We were timing it, and on the average it took 13 seconds to do one lap. Hahahaha. I can't believe how fascinated I was when I saw Finding Nemo characters inside. I must be going crazy.

Crashed at my place after that to watch a few episodes of "Friends". Man, that show cracks me up every single time. I can't believe Leonard doesn't understand it.

The only time I feel satisfied with myself is when I get the job done the way I want it to. Nothing less than perfection. It's silly how it bugs me when I don't get things right.

2007-12-20T12:22:00.000+08:00

Gosh, the holidays are coming. I've never been a fan of Christmas. It's way too depressing for me. Now that the holiday music is never too far away, it's just.. oh man. My family's not big on the holidays. I normally spend Christmas at home doing nothing. This year's probably gonna be the same.

Went back to school for the last couple of days doing stock-checking. Had Admin stuff to do in the morning on Tuesday. Was supposed to meet Liane after that but we cancelled the plans. So in the end I helped the Blazer Comm. do their stock checking. Sooo crazy. The sizes are.. OMG. And there's something about the blazer cupboard that makes people sneeze. Yun Zhi and Miao were like dying. Hahaha.

Revo Designs delivered the Council and OGL T-shirts yesterday. Joel, Joanna and I sat in the store room for a loooooong time trying to figure out why were there discrepencies. Lol. Oh and Kelly, Cindy, Joel, Joanna and I went to Ikea to eat the Swedish meatballs yesterday. Makes me one satisfied person =)

The Guides BBQ was cute. I remember this time when I was still a junior. We were having Badges Week at a chalet in Changi and it rained on BBQ night. All our umbrellas were up, and we barbequed nonetheless. I saw that again on Monday =) Though Guides is not what is used to be, but the spirit remains. Managed to catch up with Jing and Clarene. I hardly see them around in MJ, so it was nice to have spent the entire evening with their company.

2007-12-16T18:59:00.001+08:00

Alright tweaked the layout alittle. Added a background and changed the picture.

Guides BBQ tomorrow, I can't wait.

I miss Guiding.

Our way is clear as we march on and see our flag on high.

2007-12-14T00:13:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I've read National Geographic.

I remember during the start of the year I still had the time to just slack around and genuinely have fun. And when I hang out with the peeps I'll bring it along with me.

Things have really changed.

Well I got to learn a bit about about everything in the current issue. Dinosaurs, the newly democratic Ukraine and how warmer temperatures affecting the Alpine ski resorts.

My grand uncle just passed away a few days ago. I wasn't particularly close to him, but it's always sad to see your elders parting the world. Guess the older folks are hit harder by the loss. It hurts to see people close to you leaving one by one.

This really makes me think of how much time I'll still have with the rest of my grand relatives.

To the guys who came to talk to me about it, thanks =) I haven't told many about it, but it's really heartening to know I have people to fall back on.

2007-12-09T13:34:00.001+08:00

PROM PROM PROM PROM PROM!

Success =) Everyone worked really hard, and I'm glad this event turned out well. Kudos to Prom Comm! That 6 months of hard work paid off! =DD We really did achieve a level of 'Professionalism'. Hahaha. That word's been flying around for the past week.

The Usher Team A and B didn't really have much to do after 8pm so we went around tidying up the VIP lounge and ushering the J2s back into the ballroom when the next activity was starting.

I must say that the band performances were really good. Watched them during the rehearsal. It's a pity that so many left the ballroom to snap photos outside.

Daddy was too tired to pick me up so Benjamin did. Dropped Qiani off at her place, then we went to eat supper. Hahahaha. Knocked out at around 3am I think.

AAR was on the following day, and I ate breakfast-cum-lunch-cum-dinner with the Councillors at KFC. The fries they order had some weird green stuff on it so one by one they went to change it. Scary. I am not gonna eat at KFC for a while..

Spent the whole of yesterday either reading homicide cases, or watching them. POHYU! Dexter's super whacked. Holyy. Saw too many dead and decomposed bodies in the 4th season of CSI: NY that I was frightened out of my wits by midnight. Hahaha. Criminal Minds got me all freaked out by how sick in the mind people can get. But it's really cool watching them do criminal profiling.

Oh, and I'm done reading Creation in Death =) NICEEEEEE!

Faraway for far too long.

2007-12-04T17:41:00.001+08:00

I'm gonna try to blog a longer entry today. I've really gotta kick the habit of omission.

Prom dry-run today! It was quite a quick one, we got familiarised with the roles that we're going to take on the actual day itself. I'm working with Yining this time round. I haven't worked with her before, and I'm really looking forward to it =)

Ahhh went Prom 'shopping' yesterday. I doubt I'll ever wear that black long sleeved again in the near future, but it's alright. I'm actually really really hyped up. It's technically the last event of the year, and we're definitely gonna kick ass. "Professionalism!" =D

This time next year I'll definitely be holding a job already. I'll be 18 and Daddy will finally allow me to work. Can't be too dependent on my parents anymore..

Gonna end the post with a random council lingo:

Precious
Beowulf
push
the
push
pop
people!

(Pantat what was the two new words to added today? I forgot!!) And yes, it's not supposed to make any sense =P Awww I love Council =)

Note to self: Always remember to water Mr Hon's plants =P

Oh, and I wanna give a shoutout to SARA!! You've been a great person to talk to =) Cheer up about the handphone okay?

2007-12-01T23:53:00.000+08:00

"THE KINGDOM" IS A SUPERB SHOW.

If you didn't like "Enchanted", maybe you'll like this. I swear, it is wayyyy better. I mean, with stellar actors like Jamie Foxx and Jennifer Garner starring in it, you'll really in for a treat!

Anyways, Pohyu and I recognised Dylan aka the "Bomb Squad Guy" from Grey's Anatomy during the Superbowl episode last year. It's funny how he always dies because of some bomb that exploded. Hahaha.

Hope our next meeting will be soon!

To Rachel: You know you can call me anytime =)

2007-11-30T23:03:00.001+08:00

My Grandma's death anniversary was today. It's been 3 years. I don't wanna go further than that.

Did some massive disk cleanup today. Amongst all the random files I deleted, I threw out ALL my PW drafts =D I can't believe I only did it now.

Anyways I really want a new laptop. It's almost three years and it's showing no signs of breaking down! It's just sluggish.. like a retired racing horse. Hahaha. The Dell XPS looks real pretty by the way =D

Admin Meeting tomorrow at 8am! And I'm going out with Pohyu too =D

2007-11-27T23:07:00.000+08:00

Today was an unofficial council outing day =D

Was supposed to watch 'Enchanted' with Rachel after OGL camp but it lead to a massive conversation with the councillors online. Hahaha. And after about 1 and a half hours of crapping and off-topic discussions we finally managed to arrange a place to meet, and the cinema we were going to watch the movie in.

Yunzhi and Kelly watched 'The Game Plan', while the rest of us watched 'Enchanted'. The movie was.. heh. Too cheesy for me. Watching the movie kinda reminded me of Disneyland when I was in Tokyo. Happy, cheerful. I'm just not a strong believer of happy endings.

Hanged around Vivo after the movie. We talked alot, and it was really good to see everyone relaxed. It's been a tough month.

Anyways, Leonard's flying to Hong Kong for some Boy's Brigade Exchange Programme. I'm gonna miss that little rascal.

Alright Prom's next. And in Yingqi's words..Jiayou everyone! =D

Everyone's back!

2007-11-26T09:18:00.000+08:00

Yay, everyone's back from OGL camp =) Last night Joel and I were the only councillors online. So we formed the lonely hearts club and started chatting with each other about Japan. Hahaha. That place is seriously wayyyy cooler than Singapore.

Yup, I didn't attend cause of health problems. I really wished it wasn't there.. It's annoying.

Went out briefly during MMM to see how some of them were doing, then I had to go home under my father's orders. Can't stay out for too long..

So for last three days I've been at home. Read alot. Books, and the lyrics of the song that was playing. (You know, the lyrics plug-in for Windows Media Player?) Watched some TV with the family too. Leonard was commenting that I always came home late, and once I'm home I'll lock myself in the room and start doing work. He hardly sees me anymore.

Dang. Prioritize.

Home Sweet Home.

2007-11-15T17:41:00.000+08:00

Hello Singapore =)

Well, Japan was great. My heart was at home though.. Every night before I slept I'll think about what the councillors would be doing.. Hahaha. Won't go much into detail about that. I'm too damn lazy =P

Had mass locker cleaning on Tuesday. I cleaned E block's fourth level so there was no lizards! Muahahaha. Just lots of dust. Oh and Marcus cleaned the Council room's fans! Woah I love him to bits.

OGL briefing was on Wednesday. Had to use the area outside the Bio Labs since the LTs were under renovation. Grah. So many physical constraints this year.

MMM recce went well too =) Thanks Harbourfront ICs for coming!

Malina don't worry about OGL camp! It's gonna be okay =)

Anyways, here's the photos!
http://missbecks.shutterfly.com/

I dont know what to do anymore. Numbed.

Goodbye.

2007-11-07T20:01:00.000+08:00

Okay here's goodbye for a few days.

To the Council, 07A302, Shiqi, Pohyu, Liane and Linette.. I'll miss you loads.

Ciao =)

PS*Pantat please remember to water Mr Hon's plant!!

Remember, remember..

2007-11-05T15:33:00.000+08:00

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you, and you may call me V.

Awwww. I'm so in love with the idea of such a person =D He's bloody awesome.

And because today is the 5th of November, it's Guy Fawkes Day. I was reading about it, and one thing led to another, and I got reminded of V for Vendetta. Really cool movie by the way, it's so impressive! I was supposed to get my hands on the comic book. Hmmm.

So well. I watched Freedom Writers on Saturday. Hah, I was supposed to watch it with Liane a while back. Sorry dear! I can't believe I haven't read The Diary of Anne Frank. I know it's lying somewhere in my library.. but I can't find it. Shucks. Where on earth is it.

Oh, and Linette's finally done with her OP! Yay =)

PS. Interesting, how I blogged at 3.33pm. If you've watched Season 4 of CSI NY, you'll get what I mean =P

Cycling and the Beach.

2007-11-03T21:12:00.000+08:00

Having the wind in your hair is a good thing.

Being able to have a good view of horizon (and see TWO rainbows!) is a better thing.

Enjoying all of that with a friend is the best thing anyone can ask for on a Saturday evening.

Yay thanks for the company Shuyi!

----------

And the best way to strip away all that anger inside of you.. is to watch Grey's Anatomy.

!@#$%^&*().

Moodspoiler.

Wedding.

2007-11-01T00:01:00.000+08:00

That's Mr Yeow's wedding last Saturday. I can't believe I was down to be the carpark marshall. But it was good fun to spend some time with my exco =))) We're really retarded bunch of people.

OP'S FINALLY OVER!

But oh dear, what is there to do now?

Sometimes I get emotional.

2007-10-29T20:02:00.000+08:00

There are times, when I just want to just scream out everything and not think about the consequences. But there's just so much on the line, that I swallow all the words back before any of it comes out.

I cannot count the number of 'drafts' (PW? Ewwww) I've written lately. All those things that never saw the light..

And I thought this was a good outlet for my feelings.

It's so funny, I could cry.

And as much as I wish all of this would stop, it won't. And so, life goes on.

On a lighter note, Mum's coming back from Korea today. Though she can't help but point out every little thing that I do wrong, I have to admit that I've missed her. For what it's worth, it was one good week of peace and quiet.

I want, and I need.

2007-10-28T15:43:00.000+08:00

I want..
30th October to end.

7th November to come.

Grey's Anatomy to be on ABC everyday so that I can watch it via ******* =P

'Creation in Death' to be out at Borders.

I need..
To spend more time with Mum, Dad, Benjamin and Leonard.

Before it's too late.

A302.

2007-10-26T21:52:00.000+08:00

My lovely class. All of us made it to J2 =)

Guess there are these snippets of fun at Comp Lab 5 from 8am-5pm.

ALL OGLS PLEASE JOIN THE ORIENTATION '08 MSN GROUPS!

http://groups.msn.com/MJCorientation08

Regrets.

2007-10-21T19:39:00.000+08:00

..

Somehow the road we started down had split asunder
Too late to realise how far apart we'd grown.
How I wish I, wish I'd done a little bit more

Now " Shoulda woulda coulda," means I'm out of time
Coz "Shoulda woulda coulda", can't change your mind
And I wonder, wonder, wonder what I'm gonna do
"Shoulda woulda coulda" are the last words of a fool.

I'm sorry, Fuzzy. I really wished, I've done more before any of this happened.

But it's too late, just too late..

='(

OGL interview.

2007-10-20T11:56:00.000+08:00

MADNESS.

I can't believe 4 days came and went just like that. Never in my life have I felt so busy that I hardly had any breathing space at all. But this 4 days have been a learning experience for all ofus.. we've all have grown stronger in the process.

I feel alot closer to Ah ma Malina and Haohao, as well as the House Liaisons JK (Pantat!), Shoooo, Charleeeeeeeeene, Fuzzy and Ah ma again! =P We've gone through the thick and thin; the extremely late nights (and early mornings), the constant running around.. the stress, the panic as well as the jokes and the silly things we did as we completed all the paperwork when there's practically no one left in school.

How did I ever become so fortunate? To have met 32 complete strangers in May, yet feel so at home whenever I'm with them?

I guess it is only now.. that I truly believe in the strength of the Council, and that together, the IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING.

I love all 32 of you...

Life after the Promos.

2007-10-14T19:12:00.000+08:00

Somehow it feels like life's more tiring than it normally was. There are alot more things to do, alot more things to juggle. I do hope this is not an ominous warning of times ahead.

Well at least there's no schoolwork, other than the blasted Written Report and Oral Presentation to work on. Project Work's such a drag. Please, spare us from the pain and misery.

I can't wait for my vacation out of Singapore. A serene setting with snow capped mountains and hot springs will do me some good.

Tsk tsk, too many short term goals. No wonder I feel so lost lately.

On a sidenote, I'm really grateful for the people who remembered my birthday. Thank you for the sms-es, the tags, the hugs and the smiles =) Amongst all the presents that I got, I now have a really big and super huggable tortoise. I love my Council! =DD

And oh, Selamat Hari Raya to the Muslims out there =)

2007-10-09T15:00:00.000+08:00

I cannot express how I feel.

There's just.. too much of everything.

Just.. don't step on my toes. I bite. HARD.

Photo post.

2007-10-06T09:28:00.001+08:00

Children's Day at Joel's place

We were chasing each other around the pool, taking pictures in the toilet, laughing over small little things, taking silly videos... =) I LOVE COUNCIL!

Chanel Asia Pacific Office

Going in to interview the Asia Pacific Manager really made me a whole lot more interested in the project we were embarking on. Miss Lisa was really professional about things, and we really felt pretty ashamed that we couldn't match up. It was kinda awkward at some certain points of time when no one knew what they ought to say.. Lol. But she was really friendly and easy going.. I'm really thankful for that. Our WR is gonna ROCK.

Open House

Sherman and I were in charge of the booth during Open House, while the rest were busy bringing Sec 4 kids around the college. It was pretty crazy with the heavy human traffic, but it was a big success. All the effort did pay off! Well done MJ =))

Promos: NOT OVER YET.

2007-09-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

One more paper to go... hope it'll be okay.

07A302 jiayou! =)

The past week has been.. I don't know. Not too good, but it wasn't that bad either.

I was hovering somewhere in the middle portion of the mood meter, which pretty much equals to alot of stoning. Heh. Just one of the things the Promos do to you.

But I gotta say, the week did pass by pretty quickly.. Morning assembly, exam, nap, mug, sleep and morning assembly comes again. That's alot of faster than the days where you hear your teachers drone on and on about the syllabus. The minute hand just seem to be moving in slow motion.

ANDDDD.

I just realised that I haven't been in the Council room for AGESSSSSSS =((((((

(Which means I haven't watered Mr Hon's plants for ages too. DIE.)

I'm soooo gonna kiss the meeting table after my paper on Monday!

The return.

2007-09-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

Two long long weeks later, I finally got my tortoise back =)))) I missed it lots.

Went to Tamp Library with Loi Shuyi today, and found many many other Meridians studying as well. Hahaha. Much thanks to the guy who helped us take care of our stuff while Rach and I were out.

I have alot of homework to catch up on, I realised. It's just 3 days and everything's going haywire already.

I can, and I will!

A turn for the worse.

2007-09-18T21:26:00.000+08:00

Why can't things just get better?

And in this battle for life or death, you're alone.

Random Rant.

2007-09-17T21:27:00.000+08:00

My brain's all screwy right now, so I'm just gonna jot down random things off my head. In no particular order.. whatever comes first.

- CSI NY on Sunday was FABBB. I was feeling the adrenaline rush for the rest of the night. Sorry SHUYI if I freaked you out. Heh.

- Reading 'Born in Death' right now. Don't cha just love homicides?

- I'm having the Guiding Withdrawal Syndrome. Hopefully I can be more committed at HQ once I'm done with my A Levels. (Linette KEH! Join me! =DD)

- I need a new playlist.

- Promos' just around the corner. Hope I'll survive.

How I wish I, wish I've done a little bit more
Now Shoulda woulda coulda means I'm out of time
Shoulda woulda coulda, can't change your mind
And I wonder, wonder, wonder what I'm gonna do
Shoulda woulda coulda are the last words of a fool.

Nearly 6 in the morning.

2007-09-09T05:50:00.001+08:00

Hello world.

I'm blogging at Loi Shuyi's place, eating pasta and drinking milo. Woke up at about 4.45am. I'm trying to get my Math Tutorial done, but it appears that there hasn't been much improvement. Hopefully I'll get it finished before I go for Rachel's service later in the morning. I was supposed to be sleeping early under a particular SOMEONE'S orders, but oh well.. you didn't say I couldn't wake up early right?

So I was at Julian's musical on Saturday Night, along with Rach, Hwei Ting, Yi Ming, Shiqi, Siauling and Florence.. and another girl in the red shirt with a big yellow star that looks alot like Hweiting (I shall find out your name soon!) It's not too bad I guess. And he cheated our feelings cause he only sang and dance in the opening act! Hahahaha. Jiayou for today's performance =)

Anyways, been busy with Orientation, OGL camp and Year-end Bash stuff this week. If I could be half as enthusiastic about my studies..Heh.

I do believe I should get back to work if I ever want to get anything completed.

This is me tired and being completely random.

See you around!

And out of the blue..

2007-09-07T22:02:00.000+08:00

Amidst all the studying.. I found a pleasant surprise at my doorstep.

Thanks Mong, for making my day! =DDD

Photos from Camp.

2007-09-04T23:36:00.001+08:00

Mummy Oon, Linette, Wan Ying, Me, Hui Jing, Pristine, Ferlicia and Vivien!

Mrs Oon and Miss Pang

Guiding friendship strong and deep, still we meet again..

CAMP CHRISTINE!

2007-09-04T10:27:00.000+08:00

Went for approximately half a Guides camp, because of the Orientation meeting today. I'm thankful for that 2 days spent at Camp Christine.

It's been a good retreat from all the things back home. Life in the great outdoors is alot more simplistic. I was weary and so emotionally drained before, but the goodness in Guiding.. the innocence of it gave me a gift of hope..

Mrs Oon gave me alot of advice that Saturday night/morning. I missed the days when I could just sit down with her to tell her about what's getting me down. Just when I thought everything was falling apart, she came to put the pieces back into place.

Happy Teachers' Day, Mrs Oon.

It was then that I realised how much effort you had to put in to make any form of relationship work. Because the person means so much to you that every little thing that you do wrong, or right, counts. We'll make it through any kind of weather...

The Guides camp this year was alot different from before. The company got smaller. It was quite heart-breaking at first, but seeing how bonded everyone was, I guess its a blessing in disguise. On the YAs side, we had the priviledge to sleep in the lodge. Hah! No more grass and creepy stuff =DD No one dared to sleep on the upper bunks, so we joined the beds together. Spent alot of time during the night fooling around.. you can't help it when you have Ferfer around.

"This is called en-ter-tain-ment." Horh Fer? Hahahaha. I know Miss Pang was so amused. I missed the annual Guides campfire this year, so I didn't get to know the new Guider till now. She teaches Geography.. YEAHHH =P It's been a great opportunity to catch up with the rest of the YAs - Prist, Jing, Fer, WanYing, Vivien and Linette.. everyone seems to be doing well.

And though the cold water is something I can never get used to, or the fact that my hair still smells like firewood from outdoor cooking.. Guiding is for life =)

Happy Birthday!

2007-08-26T12:15:00.001+08:00

Liane. I'm gonna miss you when you're a million miles away in Sweden..

Come back soooooon! =(

Anyways, I'm leaving for Hokkaido too somewhere in November. No snow yet, but a single digit mean daily temperature is cold enough. I'm already freezing in the LTs.

I think I'll be more hyped up about it when I've cleared the Promos.

Let me be your shelter my friend.

Memories of the week.

2007-08-20T20:09:00.000+08:00

Not ready to make nice.

2007-08-13T20:39:00.001+08:00

Forgive, sounds good.

Forgive, I'm not sure I could.

They say time heals everything.

But I'm still waiting.

Fun in the sun.

2007-08-11T11:10:00.000+08:00

This was the outcome of a supposingly 'focused study session' on a Friday. Zhen Han got bored of studying for her fac tests while I got sick of the Econs National Day Revision Package. I guess they could have named it better. I do sense their joy in torturing us.

SOOOOO I decided to be her model for her coursework for Art, and headed to a clearing near our area. It's sad that some construction has taken place recently.. but well, guess that's what you need to live with when you're living in Singapore.

Went over the Pohyu's place later in the evening for her grandma's funeral. She isn't taking it very well, but I think she's going to be fine =) Take care.

Well, there's alot of homework to done.. sigh. Bye.

When it all amounts to nothing in the end...

National Day.

2007-08-09T09:54:00.000+08:00

Why do I feel like this National Day seems completely and utterly useless? I haven't been truly living until now.

What I'm only looking forward to is actually the fireworks. I'm attracted to bright lights. Heh heh.

So I've been texting Linette Keh Zhen Han in Mandarin lately.. hahahaha. Partly as a move to do a little better for our A Level Chinese Examination. Oh well.. we have to right?

Anyways, I watched The Simpsons yesterday. Bad movie. I think I wasted someone's money.. hahahaha. Sorry.

...

Just got the news that Pohyu's grandma passed away.. I'm so sorry.

Inevitable.

4 days of school.

2007-08-04T12:24:00.000+08:00

Finally I've been able to attend a good number of days in school.

Had a number of consultations to catch up. The workload from Council is getting lighter as the Promos draw near, which makes it alot easier to keep myself focused. It's so difficult to juggle so many things at once. While you're doing your homework, you have 1000 other things you're so worried about it could kill you.

Guess it's how I need to prioritize, and how I'll have to learn to manage. I won't let myself down.

Anyways.

We had the 2nd SDS session on Thursday. I must say, this SDS was the most interactive one I've ever seen! =) I was really going nuts prior to the start of SDS.. but I drew strength from the councillors downstage smiling at me, and the session itself was quite a success. There was alot of insightful feedback, and I'm glad it was coming from the population.

Fazall came early on Friday! =DDDDDDDD (Hahaha I HAVE to give you airtime man) I was realllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy happy, and I have no idea why. Keep it up dude. I'm proud of you =)

Random pic on College Day =P

And.. after so very long.. I finally watched Harry Potter. Hahahahaha.

Seeing double?

2007-07-29T10:44:00.001+08:00

Lol. You're not. I got a new one with proper.. errr, facial features. Hahahaha. Much thanks to THE PERSON who got a new one for me. By the way, I think they look seriously cute together!

College Day was awesome. I mean that's despite my aching shoulders from sitting up straight in the chair, and my poor blistered toes.

Quek, Chia-ee and I were separated from the council since we were selected to usher the V.V.I.Ps. We were mostly stuck in the hall rehearsing, so we didn't get to see the family much. But on College Day itself we saw everyone. And somehow, it really brightened up my day. I smiled everytime I saw a councillor walking by.

We had alot of positive feedback from the teachers and guests. And one commented that we were 'the best ushers they ever had'. I'm really proud of all of us!

Yesterday was a good day.

An awakening.

2007-07-26T23:45:00.000+08:00

There's just too much at stake.

Study hard, Rebecca.

Absurd.

2007-07-25T22:51:00.001+08:00

I've been following the affairs of the world ever since I've stepped foot into the hospital. The morning's always boring, and since it's Primetime Morning on Channel 5 and CNA (the only 2 English channels available).. So what the heck right.

Just watch lorh.

Lotsa stuff gets repeated - the Harry Potter book release in every corner of the world, a new female President in India, floods in Britain, scorching heat in Southern Europe.. and then there's this:

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/afp_asiapacific/view/290341/1/.html

One beating heart... stops.

What on earth are we doing to each other?

Discharged.

2007-07-23T20:40:00.000+08:00

I never want to be step into the hospital again.

Seriously, I think it's real fun to be at the hospital to pay a visit to a sick friend or relative. There's like Starbucks (I want the hot chocolate!) and other good food and beverage outlets at Tan Tock Seng, with Novena Square just seconds away. But never be the one lying on the hospital bed. It's not fun at all.

Bet Qiu Xuan would agree with me. Horh my camwhoring partner? =D

Been on the IV drip the last couple of days, so I'm taking light meals for now. My mum made my maid cook porridge for the rest of the week =( By the way, being on IV hurts. I'm not kidding. They woke me up at 4am to take my BP and temperature, and flushed the damn tube. I couldn't sleep after that.

During the night I keep thinking about home, and how much I wanna go back to school. It makes me feel so sad sometimes. I'm so glad I'm out.

But life there isn't that bad. I've got the TV and a telephone, so it kept me occupied for the most part. And there's someone who's just a phonecall away =) Thanks again to the people who came to visit me: Fazall, Jin Jian, Rachel, Ching Ying, Cindy and Kelly! And the people who flooded my inbox today. You guys ROCK! =DD

Right now I'm feeling fine. Just a little giddy since my blood pressure's still on the low side. But I should be able to go to school tomorrow. I hope.

Hospital.

2007-07-22T22:55:00.000+08:00

Hey! Rach is blogging for me cause I'm still stuck in the hospital. Hopefully I can be discharged tomorrow. Just wanna say thanks to the tons of people who sent me an sms asking about my health, and my councillors who visited me on sat with a spastic Spongebob balloon and a Rubik's cube! =) I feel better now.

I'm really glad "That Music Thing!" went really well! I'm really sad I couldnt be around for my own event, but I'm looking forward to the video Joel taped down! May the proceeds be put to good use =)

Hope I'll be blogging on my own soon. I miss my bed, and loads of people. Love you guys! =D

Edit: Hahaha Auntie Loi! Thanks for your help! =)

Being a JC student means..

2007-07-18T20:10:00.000+08:00

Seems like my life's paved out for me.

My stepping stones in life is..

Studying.

Getting into a U.

Getting a good job.

Get married.

Have children.

See your children have children.

And die.

How every interesting.

stop taking life for granted.

To my dearest lil' brother.

2007-07-16T20:34:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEONARD!

Gosh, just a few more centimetres are you're taller than me =( Where are the days that Benjy and I could call you short? Hahahahaha..

Grow tall, and stay strong lil brother.

Love =)

Mid-week blues.

2007-07-11T22:33:00.001+08:00

I can't believe it's only Wednesday. It really feels like the week has been going on forever...

PRESS ON.

Random rant.

2007-07-09T00:31:00.001+08:00

I'm getting mixed reactions with the hair. I like it lahhhh. And Hwei Ting agrees! =P

Maybe I should just keep it short for the long term and turn into some tomboy.....

Kidding! =D

And, council is really 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I can't remember a day where I'm completely not doing anything related to it. Probably that's cause it will never happen. Hahahaha.

I feel like I have alot of things to pen down, but my head's blank. Till next time then.

I can't allow myself to be too dependent on you.

And the world spins madly on.

2007-07-06T19:27:00.000+08:00

Guess the big fella high up there has been kind to me for the past 2 days. Most of the grades that got back were actually above my expectations. Particularly Chinese =D

I'm crossing my fingers for Literature and Economics.

And, Pohyu! 1 more day! =)

A day out with a friend.

2007-07-02T19:38:00.000+08:00

Yayy it was great spending time with you! =D We must play mahjong after Promos!

Anyways, this will probably be the last photo I'll have with relatively long hair, because right after that I chopped it all off. Heh heh heh..

Sweet Ecstasy.

2007-07-01T13:30:00.001+08:00

The exams flew by so quickly, that it felt like didn't happen at all. But well, it did, and I'm not looking forward to results day. But that's then.

While I'm still pondering about my purpose in life, the work never stops. We'll still be back in school on Tuesday and Wednesday for morning duty, and meetings, meetings, meetings.

And it's okay, because I love what I'm doing.

Life's good, because you're around =)

- Pohyu! I can't wait to see you tomorrow!! =DDD

DONE!..almost.

2007-06-27T22:58:00.000+08:00

Muahahahahahaha.

I'm almost through with the examinable subjects for Mid-Year. Just 2 papers of that dreaded Mother Tongue and YES! =D

I just had 4 good hours of sleep. Suffering from insomnia during the exam period is shit unfortunate. For 2 days straight I couldn't sleep before 3am. Came to school uber dazed, which didn't help today since it was Math.

I think I'm not gonna do well for that paper.... oh nevermind.

Oh yes, just read the news online and there's a new 20-dollar note which is gonna be launched on July 16, which is coincidently my younger brother's birthday! Apparently the 16 of July is a pretty eventful day, since I vaguely remember that Singapore Girl Guide Association changed it's name to Girl Guides Singapore on that day too.

I hope that's accurate. There was once the days where the BP Quest girls were furiously swallowing information about Guiding and WAGGGS. We enjoyed ourselves amidst all the studying. Audrey! If you're reading this, can you remember the number of times you said you wanted to jump of the building? Stress right? Hahahaha. I think you're more stressed now, COMPANY LEADER!

That was about a year ago. And maybe if I could return and tweak things alittle, the future might be oh-so very different.

And what happened on my birthday? Bali Bombings. EEURRGGHHH. And soon enough.. the PROMOS. Double EEURRGGHHH.

Code Red.

2007-06-25T19:57:00.001+08:00

YOU BETTER WAKE UP YOUR IDEA. NOW!

An original layout customised.

2007-06-24T19:31:00.000+08:00

Too much has happened over the holidays. Life has never been such a rollercoaster ride.

Well, tomorrow's the Mid-Years. I am not looking forward to it, but what's the use. I know for myself the revision that I did is inadequate. And I know, I'll suffer the repercussions.

I'm gonna let you down. I'm sorry. I'm fully aware of the consequences, but it's not going to happen. I swear, you can never take THIS away from me.

You just can't.

And to the rest of the folks out there, all the best.

2007-06-21T22:12:00.000+08:00

Stayed over at Rachel's place last night to attempt Mathematics, but to no avail. Ching Ying ended up eating (btw, I really have to take my hat off her. This girl has an appetite of an elephant. And she's still thin!), while I ended up in front of the laptop, chatting pretty intently with a secondary school classmate about a certain matter....... sigh.

Anyways.

There's 2 super unglam shots of me on Rachel's bed today! Gosh. And you! LOI SHUYI! You sent it to LE DUNG!

I can't help but cringe at the picture. Gees I'm screwed.
----------
Seeking refuge in my own room. Everything's just too messy outside.

2007-06-20T11:27:00.000+08:00

Thanks for sharing, my friend =)

Glad to know there's someone I can talk to.
----------
I can't function right anymore.

2007-06-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

Photoshoot.

Yup so we had our Meridian Leaders' Photoshoot today. The photographer was great! I mean, he's patient, and he doesn't mind all the noise that we were making inside the room, or that we fiddling about with this laptop.

Nice, nice person. Thank you so much for tolerating us.

Seriously, I think our school blazer rocks. I love how it looks! =)

4E4 Class Gathering

I'm really glad most of us could make it for the class gathering this evening. It's been a while since we've last met, and it was nice catching up. Loads of things have changed, while others just stayed the same. I couldn't recognise Mary when I first saw her. While she came to give me a hug my brain was still trying to register who this person was. Ooops, sorry =P You really look alot different from the last time I saw you. But how crappy Ashraf can be.. remains constant forever. I can't believe I sat beside him for 3 good years.

Those were the days.

I think I used to be happier back then.

2007-06-15T12:09:00.000+08:00

Studying.

Well at the very least, I'm trying to.

Well Kelly's right in front of me doing her e-learning on Chemical Bonding on my laptop. Miao and her stayed over last night, and we conked out at 5am. Despite setting the alarm at 7, we were only awoken by a message from JOEL at 9PM. Gosh. I don't know if I should thank him, or whack him. Hahahaha =P

Oh well, at least I'm pretty awake now. I'm hoping it'll last.

Settled breakfast outside after sending Miao off back home to catch some Zs. It's been a while since I've been out and about in the neighbourhood. Seriously, I feel like I've been cooped up for too long.

----------

Anyways, I've been thinking of the future lately. There's really more to life than a high-flying career, a penthouse apartment, ferraris and designer clothing.

I ought to start seeking my true calling. Because, I don't see what I'm studying for. I just know that I have to.

So, this is round 2 of the study marathon. And oops, why am I still here?

Ciao.

Emotions, now they're the deadlist weapons on earth.

2007-06-12T16:39:00.000+08:00

Tell me why I'm feeling this way.

Make it go away, please.

It hurts too much.

2007-06-10T18:46:00.000+08:00

Life has been.. well, LIFE. Busy, yet fulfilling anyway.

And like all the other councillors would say.. I NEED TO START STUDYING.

Seriously. I think I'm pretty much screwed. AHHHHHHHHH.

Some pictures just to beautify the blog alittle:

MJ Peeps at Heart of God. (Bottom) Mong, Me and Clarence. (Top) Daniel and Andrew.

LIANE! Hahaha. I don't know why she looks so flushed in this picture. I'm damn impressed with the way she played the flute =P

Two retarded people standing in the middle of the road. Hahaha. Okay lah, we were bored studying at the airport. Anyways, it's Miao and Kelly.

Yup that pretty much wraps up the week. The next 14 days is going to be hell. I just know it.

Some things, should just be left unsaid.

2007-06-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

Feels good to be back home.

After an hour long bath, 5 hours of nap time and a good MacDonald's delivery meal.. I FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER =DD

Camp was indeed beneficial. I've learnt alot, and hopefully the values learnt can be put into practice. It's gonna be one long, long council term ahead. Other than that, I had good fun bonding with the other leaders. They now all know me as Chia Mei Mei... I honestly don't know how I ought to react to that.

GANDHI BOLEH!! (Qahhar, Ryan, Fadhly, Alan, Jonas, Si En, Rachel, Kelly, Charlene, Charmaine, Lois, Jia Bin and Me!) We started off shaky, but we were ONE at the end of it all. Thanks for the friendship, we rock! Keep on singing dudes.. =DD

Oh yeah, and many thanks to Rachel and Sherman! Sorry that I completely depleted your phone battery Rach =P Sherman thanks for lending me your phone too, and your charger! I had to call SOMEONE =D

Thanks to Mr Hon too, for guiding us along and making me your personal dish washer. You really look like a big red tomato now. HAHAHAHAHA!

And I think I'm super tanned right now. Ahhhhh.

2007-05-31T21:01:00.000+08:00

Leadership Training Camp tomorrow! =DD

Lol. I really don't know why I'm so excited. I mean you're going to some ulu place with no water heater, no bed and no computer. I love 'em all, and the campsite is so far away that it could receive the Maxis signal (hey, I'm not lying about that).

Maybe it's because it's at Jalan Bahtera.

Maybe it's because that's where Camp Christine is.

Maybe it's because I miss Guides ALOT.. =(

I'm gonna take a photo at the entrance of Camp Christine if there's ever a possibility of us venturing out there.

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And, I'm gonna miss alot of people while I'm gone. Love you guys =)

I swear, I'm gonna hit you someday and make it look like an accident. You're driving me to my breaking point.

2007-05-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

GP Exam was like.. so-so. I'm just gonna cross my fingers, and hope for the best.

Learning Journey! =D

This place is like.. sooooo coool! Irah is a darn good NE Rep for choosing this place =) Yay!